Search Me, Oh Lord

If the Lord wanted to search you, would He find Himself in you? Where would He be found? Is He portioned out or limited bountifully or scarcrely? He rules my heart but I realized that my mind would be a terrible thing to waste so I think about Him that much and this much.Continue to be blessed because you know you are.

God bless,

With much Agape love,

Always His lady in waiting

Seven Facts: Recapped

Fact#1– As a child I was sometimes able to hear and see things my family couldn’t.

Fact #2–I was the only one in my family that endured odd encounters and uneasiness.

Fact #3– I was and still am a very sensitive and interesting attraction for the supernatural realm.

Fact #4–After we relocated from Ohio to Tennessee I rarely got a good night’s worth of sleep.

Fact #5– After his death, I had an opportunity to converse with my grandfather but refused to do so.

Fact #6–As a more mature person in Christ and allowing my gifts to go full bloom I was able to help a desperate cousin to move out of a house that imprisoned some ugly memories from its past.

Fact #7–I sought psychiatric counseling because I thought I was crazy.

And here’s one to ponder on. Being the only two people in the home a lot of the times my mother and I have endured our share of hush, hush moments. Meaning we dealt with the things we couldn’t see but never really talked about them outside of our home. If I had to place blame anywhere more than likely I’d say that for some reason I’m the bait.

Here’s a tiny tot to nibble on while trying to decide if I really am crazy, a straight out liar fabricating some things or if I truly am a highly gifted person.

One year after my brother returned home from vacation he decided to go backwards and with that he started drinking again, heavily, and I assumed what he was doing was displeasing and as long as we’d been living there we never had trouble with our refrigerator. Until one night when he opened the fridge to get him a beer; he was startled when the bulb broke right before his very eyes. He came and looked at me strangely and gave me the bulb that had broken in half. But, why did he go back to the refrigerator again and get another beer? He already had one!! You see my friend, the strange thing is that he took that beer and left the house. So, who was in the fridge? I investigated and saw absolutely no one. Perhaps he angered an unseen loiterer. After all “he” did have the run of the house while brother was away. Alpha ghosty, maybe?!

Fact #7–I’m Not Strange, I’m Just Blessed

Well, we finally come to the finale for sharing my tales of the strange. Alas, here is number seven.

Fact #7–I sought psychiatric counseling because I thought I was crazy.

Yeah, it’s very true! I couldn’t get away from being a different, sometimes difficult and ALWAYS misunderstood person so I assumed that there just had to be SOMETHING wrong with me. So, I sought psychiatric help. I was able to walk out of the office that day with more reassurance that I wasn’t entirely crazy. I was told by that particular professional who asked how long I’d had these abilities that I was not the only one to seek help for these experiences. Furthermore, they had saw several like me and as an interesting comparision we had all began experiencing things at a young age. As anyone may know I choose to use the gifts that I’ve been entrusted with to glorify God, which is their purpose, as opposed to going in a totally different or opposite direction. When God comes to judge, I want to ascend not descend so that means sticking to God’s guidelines and reasons for trusting certain individuals with specific gifts. I’m not strange, I’m just blessed with what sometimes feels like a curse.

Now, as far as being a looneytick due to a family that does everything wrong except mess up a house and eat is already well known by those who have known me the longest. It’s been an interesting week and now comes the weekend. Sorry I didn’t choose to share some different things such as going to church on some Sunday’s being overwhelmed by a lot of raw emotions, very CHALLENGING whew!

Stay safe, stay sane, and be blessed!

Fact #6 I’m Not Strange, I’m Just Blessed

Fact #6–As a more mature person in Christ and allowing my gifts to go full bloom I was able to help a desperate cousin to move out of a house that imprisoned some ugly memories from its past.

I’m no ghost buster, or medium, clairvoyant, nor anything else that defies the words of my Lord and savior Jesus Christ. And, in return I show Him that I am appreciative for the gifts that he has bestowed upon me. I have a cousin that seems to move every few months or so which is a difficult task already for most of us but evidently the norm for her. She made a grave (no pun intended) mistake when moved from one unhappy house to another and that time I would be the one who would help her break free.

A cute, little, white house that was abandoned for some time was something she couldn’t resist. She asked the owners and they gave it to her without hesitation. I wonder why?! I can answer that question of sincere rhetoric with one sentence–IT had history. It made me help her to start researching the land and ultimately the address. We weren’t satisfied with some things that we found out about that little piece of subtle hell on earth so I continued to begin to fear that little “sadness in the box” house. Until one day she came and got me; I was tired of the fear that I had regarding her bathroom, I never used it and hated walking past it. What I like to call my gift of discernment kicked in and I could no longer hold on to what I was hearing and that day I disclosed some of that sadness.

I was hearing an older lady screaming, it was blood curdling and sad because there was no one to help her and there was no one to help me. As I began to tell her and her daughter what I was feeling, seeing, and hearing her daughter took her baby and opened the back door and stood outside. I’m glad she did that because the entire time I was telling them about that house all of our hair stood on end; my cousin showed me her arm hair standing up and told me she felt as though something was brushing her on her legs. That little house with the dead memories all of a sudden came to life-full of noise. Not to mention the front door that didn’t have one iota of mechanical issues suddenly wouldn’t open, it was as if it were glued or barred shut. The next few days lead her to find an apartment and she moved rather quickly but while I was in the house helping with boxes I would hear the floor creaking behind me and was aware that I was being followed. With no one else in the house, I turned around and told the lady following me that I was sorry for her misfortune but that I couldn’t help her in any way. I know there was more that took place there but I just didn’t care to tell more or even investigate further. In the end one of my mother’s sisters finally told her that an older lady had perished tragically in that house and her death involved the use of oxygen.

I often ask God to deliver those types of restless souls and allow them to leave the living alone until He’s ready to judge us all. Did she follow me home? Yes, she did but she knew where she belonged. You see, I don’t care to have the uninvited waking me up by playing with my feet and my mother didn’t enjoy hearing what she thought was me going through the books on the book rack that was in my room in the late night, early morning hours.

These are NOT problems for the occult, these are issues that we should ALWAYS seek help and guidance from God.

I’m not strange, I’m just blessed with what sometimes feels like a curse.

Be blessed!

Fact #4 I’m Not Strange, I’m Just Blessed

And we hit just about the middle of the scales here with fact number four.

Fact #4–After we relocated from Ohio to Tennessee I rarely got a good night’s worth of sleep.

I though but didn’t think about my personal torture as a young girl and when we moved from Ohio in December 1980 into our small town’s East side public housing (projects) I went on about my business being a child and making new friends. For several years I felt as though I had newfound freedom from any and all worries but I was mistaken. I entered my teen years with a certain zest for life and sought out independence. And, as long as I owned a bed that had a foot and headboard I would never get a real night of peace. Every bed that I had until I was 22 years of age had what would become my worst comfortable enemy. Each night I would get in bed and before turning my light out I would lay and look around my room as if I were waiting to see something or someone. Oh, how I dreaded turning out that light and some nights I would leave it on until I was drowsy enough to go right to sleep or I’d make it a point to listen to the radio. You see, I wasn’t granted a lot of restful nights because after I’d go to sleep my bed, well footboard, was hastily shaken so that I would wake up. It was startling and depressing but mostly unfair that whomever or whatever it was had followed me again and this time would hinder me until I found out how to detach or outsmart it. Even now I sleep in a bed without a headboard or footboard because it’s what makes me comfortable at least I’ve been able to sleep a good percentage of the time; I’d say that I’ve spent at least 50-60% of my life afraid of what I didn’t understand and couldn’t see until I gave my life to God because now I’m equipped not only with knowledge but wisdom and the appropriate battle gear to have the peace that I seek at all times. Should you or someone you know be in a similar situation do NOT seek the answer(s) by looking to the occult instead talk to a firm, trusted believer in Christ and look to Him for the answers you desire.

Be blessed!

Fact #3 I’m Not Strange, I’m Just Blessed

Fact #3– I was and still am a very sensitive and interesting attraction for the supernatural realm.

During one of our Summer vacations I was staying with an aunt. We had been out all Saturday and visiting Saturday night, when we went home not only was I tired, cranky, and sleepy but one of my other cousins was also, we wanted to go straight to bed.  Well, my aunt assumed that it would be alright to discipline me because I wanted to take my bath the next morning instead of that night. I saw something that I DIDN’T want or even expect to see. I was sitting on the foot of the bed able to see out the window; she came towards me but when she got close enough to reach out to slap me the same purple shirted man suddenly appeared in the window, he looked as though he was standing under a spotlight. He AGAIN frightened me so badly that she never got to deliver that slap. Not only did he scare me but when I screamed that a man was peeking in the window she ran and  didn’t  get to lay her hands on me that night. That incident forced all of us to sleep in one room. Despite the chaos, he made her change her attitude real quick. I just wish she could have seen him for herself. 

I was taught that those who’ve passed on can’t cross over water or in simpler words spirits can’t travel over water. I, personally, believe that to be a tired myth; otherwise, how is it that this one seemed to have followed me from Ohio? After all I believe that the supernatural realm has unlimited dominance of the level that they exist upon with no hold barred. I still have so many unanswered questions but I don’t look to man for ANY answers I just continue to look to God for guidance.

Again, I’m not strange, I’m just blessed with what sometimes feels like a curse.

Fact #2–I’m Not Strange

Fact #2–I was the only one in my family that endured odd encounters and uneasiness.


The days after Christmas were delightful especially for me because my biological father would give money to my maternal grandmother to go shopping for me. My mother married and moved us to Ohio Well, on one of those leisurely fun filled, post yule evenings I was upstairs overwhelmed with what I should play with and well I went for my dolls and then for the little Easy Bake oven. Yeah, I had one and I tried to be a normal little girl but I just couldn’t grasp on to all of the weird things that happened around me and that affected, seemingly, only me. Anyway I had made up a little batch of cupcakes for my little oven. I was happy, playing and minding my own business. My oldest brother wasn’t there and my mother and stepfather were downstairs watching television. I was about to go down to tell my mother I was going to use my little E. B. Oven but when I got to the steps I was scared out of my wits. I didn’t make it downstairs right then because my stepfather was coming up the stairs trying to scare me. I declare to this day that it was him slowly tipping up those steps at me with a stocking cap on and a purple shirt up to his face; the only thing I saw was his eyes….glasses and all. I dropped everything, ran back and hid at the foot of my bed. I waited on him to come and finish scaring the life out of me but he never came. I gathered the courage to finally run but in the process I tumbled down the last few steps. I made it to my mother and with a frown she looked at me and asked what was wrong and wanted to know why I was running. I began to cry and told her that my stepfather had tried to scare me. They looked at each other before my mother told me that he had been there with her the whole time watching television. It made sense because he was relaxing—reclined in his favorite chair with his arms folded behind his head and his slippers on as he always did after a long day. There’s another reason why I look back and accept that it wasn’t him…..that man didn’t own not ONE single purple shirt. Oh, and this was at our other house he owned two and we would go from house to house to live. Never understood that but we can’t say he didn’t make use of both homes. I’m not strange. I’m just blessed with what sometimes feels like a curse.


Seven Facts (I’m Not Strange, I’m Just Blessed)

The months of what started out as a seemingly slow going year have rushed by us in a flash. I live any time of the year– meaning I really don’t have an exquisitely favorite time of year or season because there is something special in them all it’s up to each of us to find and embrace what God blesses us to see every day and every season.

October is a month that just doesn’t sit quite right with me because so many celebrate Halloween with macabre, punch bowl tales of gore and horror and cult laced cookie tales of darkness. Instead of bowing down and sharing such tales I’ve decided to share at least 7 facts that that I had to deal with that was evidence I was being groomed at an early age to serve God by accepting and becoming familiar with the special gift(s) that He’s chosen to entrust me with. Some people are drifting, some lost, and some confused but thank God I found Him and using these now developed gifts for a purpose that I believe is pleasing to Him.

I’m not strange, I’m just blessed with what sometimes feels like a curse. If, you or someone you know is as I was as a child I encourage you or them to seek the Lord, not the world regarding your situation. The world will mislead you and guide you astray but God will certainly show you what He has for you.


Be blessed!